Writing a Letter of Instruction to Sit Beside Your Will

Executors rarely struggle with the will. They struggle with everything the will does not say. Which of the four brokerage accounts is the one with the old employer stock? Is there still a safe deposit box, and where is the key? Who is the accountant? What is the password to the laptop that holds the tax records? Did Dad want to be cremated? These questions consume the first weeks after a death, and the answers are in the deceased person's head. A letter of instruction is where you write them down.

The document goes by several names: letter of last instruction, family letter, estate roadmap. Whatever you call it, it is a private, informal document that sits beside your will and explains the practical and personal things the legal documents leave out. It is not filed with a court, not drafted by an attorney, and not binding on anyone. It is simply the most useful thing you can hand the people who will settle your affairs.

This article explains what a letter of instruction is, what to include and what to leave out, how it relates to your will and trust, and how to keep it current. It is educational, not legal advice. Attend does not draft wills, trusts, or other legal documents; we help clients organize the financial inventory that makes a letter of instruction possible, and we coordinate with your outside estate planning attorney.

What a Letter of Instruction Is and Is Not

A will is a legal instrument. It must be signed with formalities, it is interpreted by a court, and it can only do certain things: name an executor, direct the distribution of probate assets, nominate a guardian, and create trusts. It is a poor place for explanation, sentiment, or practical detail, and every change requires a new signing with witnesses.

A letter of instruction is the opposite. It is informal, updated whenever you like, and can cover any topic. Because it has no legal effect, nothing in it can override the will. If the letter says your daughter should get the lake house and the will leaves it to all three children equally, the will controls. The letter can explain, request, and guide, but it cannot direct.

Some states allow a separately signed list of tangible personal property, referenced in the will, to be legally binding even when changed after the will is signed. Georgia has not adopted that rule. Here, a list of who gets the jewelry or the tools is a request to the executor and family, not a command, unless the attorney incorporates it into the will itself. Ask your attorney how to handle specific items you care about.

What to Include in a Letter of Instruction

The best letters are organized so an executor can find what they need in the first hour and come back for the rest over the following months. A useful structure covers six areas.

The people to call

List your estate planning attorney, financial adviser, CPA, insurance agents, and employer HR contact, with phone numbers and email addresses. Add the names of close friends, colleagues, and relatives who should be notified, and any organizations, such as a church, alumni association, or medical board, that need to know. Note who has keys to your home and where your pets should go.

Where the documents are

State where the original will and trust are kept, whether with the attorney, in a fire-safe at home, or in a safe deposit box, and who has access. List the location of powers of attorney, healthcare directives, life insurance policies, deeds, vehicle titles, marriage and birth certificates, tax returns for the past several years, and business documents. If you have a safe deposit box, say which bank and where the key is.

The financial inventory

This is the section that saves the most time. For every account, list the institution, the type of account, the approximate balance, how it is titled, and who the beneficiary is. Include bank and brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, HSAs, 529 plans, annuities, pensions, deferred compensation, stock options, business interests, real estate, and outstanding loans. Note recurring bills on autopay and income that will keep arriving. A net worth statement updated once a year makes this section almost automatic, and it doubles as the inventory the executor will need for probate.

Digital access

Modern estates are locked behind phones and passwords. Explain how to get into your phone and computer, which password manager you use and how to access its emergency function, and where two-factor codes come from. List email accounts, cloud storage, cryptocurrency wallets, and online business accounts. Do not put the passwords themselves in the letter; point to the password manager. Our article on digital assets in estate planning covers the legal side, including fiduciary access to digital accounts.

Final arrangements

Say whether you want burial or cremation, whether you have prepaid arrangements or a plot, what kind of service you would like, and any preferences about music, readings, or charitable donations in lieu of flowers. Decisions about the body are made within days, long before a will is read, which is why they belong in the letter rather than the will. If you have strong wishes about organ donation, register them with the state and note it here.

Personal property and personal messages

The items that cause the most family friction are rarely the valuable ones. A watch, a recipe box, a photo collection. List who you would like to receive specific items and, where it helps, why. Then, if you wish, write to the people you love. A letter of instruction can hold the things you never said, the story of how the family got where it is, or advice for grandchildren. Heirs consistently describe this section as the one that mattered most.

What to Leave Out

A letter of instruction is powerful because it is informal, but that informality has limits.

• Anything that contradicts the will or trust. If your wishes have changed, update the legal documents with your attorney. A letter that disagrees with the will creates confusion and, occasionally, litigation.
• Passwords and account numbers in the same document as the account list. Keep credentials in a password manager or a separately secured file. A single document with everything in it is a gift to an identity thief if it is ever misplaced.
• Attempts to create legal obligations. Do not try to disinherit someone, condition a gift, or name a guardian in the letter. Those belong in the will.
• Criticism or settling of scores. The letter will be read at the worst moment. Say what needs to be said to your attorney; say what you want remembered to your family.

Where to Keep It and Who Should Know

The letter is useless if no one can find it. Keep the original with your other estate documents and give copies, or at least the location, to your executor, your spouse or partner, and your successor trustee if you have a trust. Many attorneys will hold a copy with the will. A digital copy in a shared family vault or with your financial adviser is a reasonable backup, provided the credentials section is stored separately.

Tell the people who will need it that it exists. Executors who learn of a letter after weeks of reconstructing accounts from mail and statements are understandably frustrated. A short conversation now is enough.

Keeping it current

Review the letter once a year, ideally alongside your annual financial checklist when you are already updating balances and beneficiaries. Update it after major changes: a new or closed account, a move, a marriage or divorce, a new adviser, or a death in the family. An update is as simple as editing the document and changing the date, and old versions should be destroyed.

How the Letter Fits With the Rest of the Plan

Think of the estate plan as three layers. The legal layer is the will, trust, powers of attorney, and healthcare directive, drafted by your attorney. The contractual layer is beneficiary designations, account titling, and insurance, which move most assets outside the will entirely. The practical layer is the letter of instruction, which tells the people in charge how to actually do the job. All three have to agree, and the letter is the one most likely to expose disagreements, because writing the inventory forces you to look at how every account is actually titled and who is actually named.

That is why we treat the financial inventory as a planning tool rather than a clerical exercise. Building it reveals the old 401(k) with an ex-spouse as beneficiary, the brokerage account that never got retitled to the trust, and the life insurance policy nobody remembered. We maintain that inventory for clients as part of estate and legacy planning, share it with your attorney when documents are drafted or updated, and make sure the letter, the designations, and the legal documents all point the same direction.

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's guide to managing someone else's money is written for the people you will be naming. The Social Security Administration explains how to report a death and what survivors may receive. The IRS guide for survivors and executors, Publication 559, lists the tax filings your executor will handle, a useful checklist for the letter itself.

A letter of instruction is the most personal document in an estate plan and the easiest to write. It costs nothing, requires no attorney, and spares your family weeks of searching at the hardest possible time. Start with the inventory and the list of people to call, add the rest as you go, date it, tell your executor where it is, and update it every year. If you would like help building the financial inventory at its core, that is work we do alongside your estate planning attorney.

Tony Colunga · Founder, Attend Wealth

Tony leads Attend Wealth, a fee-based wealth management firm in Atlanta serving professionals, families, physicians, and business owners. Advisory services are held to a fiduciary standard. More about Attend